Saying "I do" to Rotaract

As I was about to pen my thoughts based upon this title, I can’t help but to give out a slyly grin. I still recall how my beloved half then lamented that I’ve married Rotaract before her. Sad but (quite) true…

As a naive single young adult, it didn’t occurred to me then the Rotaract induction ceremony has certain similarity with my (eventual) matrimony session in front of the Registrar of Marriage. Ironic but (really) true...

In my last article, I brought forward the notion on how we can utilize our Kindergarten experience (and lessons learned) in our Rotaract journey; and I’m about to share my views here on how Rotaractors are deemed to have taken their commitment vows to the ideals of Rotaract.

Stage 1: Prior Marriage (Guest or Non-member)
The freedom from commitment is apparent at this juncture. We come and go as we wish. Dating Rotaract was a past time or perhaps hobby. We were pampered and treated with much admiration. We either continue to date or proceed to other pursuits.

Stage 2: Newly Weds (Just inducted)
The sense of belonging has built in, and the reasoning to do what is right settles in. We were inducted. Life is about to change as we have been promised. It does change. New responsibilities and commitments were presented, right about the end of our honeymoon.

Stage 3: Married for a year
It’s time to plan for the future. Visions are laid and objectives are set. Decisions are to be made once again. Opportunities are presented, so those duties, expectations and risks. We are full of zest in our pursuits on what we deserve and belong. Life is such an exciting journey!

Stage 4: Married for 3 years
Reality starts to settle in. Responsibilities, duties and expectations are either becoming an annoyance or a positive alliance to commitment and discipline. To some, it’s the beginning of a hundred possibilities and promises, and to others it marks the existence of excuses and avoidances.

Stage 5: Till 30 do us part (Retired)
Our marriage to Rotaract is determined by a pre-concluded matrimony contract which expires when we reach the age of 30. When we are desperately still in love with Rotaract, this is a painful stage. Otherwise, it is a convenient exit to a time-bound contractual commitment.

Rotaract is designed as such, and I must agree (personally), having to depart with such a meaningful organization at the age of 30 is both heart-breaking and a blessing in disguise. Now, I can claim I will have more time for my ‘second’ wife and my new baby.

Rotaract-ing Lessons from Kindergarten

Recently, I had a chance to spend 20 minutes of my day-off literally right outside of a colourful corner terrace house located nearby where I live – a kindergarten. It was very unlikely of me, and perhaps pointless to have done so some years back.

As I sat in the comfort of my car parked across the road from this establishment, my thoughts began to wonder – towards the future of Brian (my baby boy) and reminiscence of my own kinder years. While observing the innocence and incomparable energy of these children, it was at that moment in time I realized the significance of our kindergarten years in shaping the knowledge, skills, and attitude of our adult lives. It was these crucial years I feel gave me the initial skills and attitude necessary to succeed in life.

Rotaract was very much like kindergarten to me (pun intended). It was an avenue where I had fun while learning. I realized when I have made (honest) mistakes, I would be advised and coached; and when I made any inexcusable (and naughty) errors, I would be punished or penalized accordingly. In kindergarten, I learned the meaning of holding hands without judging the other boy’s or girl’s background. I think much of what we learned at kindergarten can be applied to the beginning of our Rotaract journey, and here are several examples…

Be open-minded -- When we went to kindergarten, we didn't go with a preconceived notion of what our day would be like. We knew why we were there, but we were open to an infinite number of possibilities. As we begin our Rotaract journey, understand your purpose, but stay open to different perspectives, personalities and opportunities.

Show respect -- Respect for the headmistress, teachers, and other students were critical to a successful kindergarten experience. It is equally so in Rotaract, particularly at the beginning. Show respect at every level and to everyone you meet. It will bring reward beyond measure. Begin by respecting people’s time, priorities and opinions.

Give people some space -- In kindergarten, if someone was drawing or playing building blocks while seated on the floor, it was important to back off and let him or her execute his or her vision. In Rotaract, this concept is equally important. Give members in your club the space they need to show you and others how they envision the building process (of your clubs). We watch and comment, but we do not condemn and destroy.

Know when to talk, and when to listen -- Teachers have always appreciated students who participate, yet many have an equal amount of despise for those who don't know when to be quiet. Managing a voluntary organization today necessitates being a good listener and decision-maker. Listen to your members, Rotarians, other fellow Rotaractors, and of course, your inner-self. The best listeners are often the most successful leaders.

Demonstrate creativity or innovation -- Teachers give students crayons and paper, and ask the children to draw, often without specifying in details what they should draw. In Rotaract, and particularly during the planning stages for a new term, the canvas is yours too. Be creative. Be different. Think out of the box when it comes to club projects and activities. If we can’t come out with something new, we can at least learn from others and innovate from such ideas with our very own colours and point-of-view.

Learn to choose a team -- When playing with others, if we were picked as "captain," we had to decide whom we would pick for our team to ensure the highest chance of success. In Rotaract, assembling the right team is even more important than on the playground. Choose wisely so that the skills and talents of the group are maximized to ensure success.

Lend a hand -- There were days we forgot to bring along our water tumbler to class, a classmate is always willing to share theirs. And when a classmate has no partner to hold hands with while lining up to go for recess, we extend ours so that our class will be the first to move and reach the canteen. In Rotaract, it is unavoidable when one has too many roles and responsibilities to manage in the name of service. Are we ever ready to lend our hand to our members (President, avenue directors and project chairpersons) so that we may execute and accomplish the mission with considerable success?

Forgive and forget -- We may have our unpleasant moments in kindergarten. They were mostly due to the actions and words of other children, from name calling to bullying. Teachers would be the peace-maker and taught us how to apologize to each other. At the beginning of the following week, most grudges were forgotten and we sing the same song together again. We should apologize for any inconvenience or hardship caused to anyone during our pursuits in Rotaract, and having a sincere heart to forgive those who have err in the spirit of humankind.

Don't be a cry-baby -- Last but not least, one of the most important lessons learned in kindergarten was learning not to get upset when things didn't go our way. As our parents and teachers always say, “If you fall for whatever reason, get up (and try again).” Maintaining our composure when things don't go as planned is critical to the success and enjoyment of our Rotaract journey.

It is been said that almost everything we need to know we learn in kindergarten, and I would have to say that I agree wholeheartedly. Think through our issues as a knowledgeable mature person, and if that doesn't work, we just might want to pick up a piece of white paper and crayons, and start thinking like a kindergartner...... Life is as complicated as we want it to be.

To Meet or Not To Meet

Club meetings are Rotaract's fundamental avenue of existence. Without club meetings, Rotaract would be an elusive icon. The significant of having effective and enjoyable club meetings is literally tantamount to the success of a Rotaract club. During my Rotaract days and tenure as DRR, I had the opportunity to experience club meetings of both side of the equation.

Why do we meet?

The obvious reason for any Rotaract club to meet is clearly requested in Rotaract's guiding policy and by-laws. The unobvious reasons, if one should ask, are described as follows:

a) A formal occasion where one is informed of club business matters;
b) An avenue that gives potential members an initial experience of
Rotaract;
c) It encourages knowledge sharing, fellowship and networking;
d) It provides opportunity for personal development and fulfillment;
e) A test of personal commitment and discipline.

Do Rotaract clubs capitalize on or know all these unobvious reasons? To my surprise, not every Rotaractor does.

Where can we meet?

The concern that clubs not having a consistent and conducive meeting venue has always deemed to affect the image and convenience of this organization. No doubt, a meeting venue should be easily accessible by members and reflect the image of Rotaract; and clubs having guest speakers faces additional challenges of adequate facilities and presentation friendly environment.

In my opinion, the physical aspect of any meeting venue merely serves to provide convenience and shelter. We must be reminded that the image, values, and purpose of any Rotaract club is created by the general membership and proceedings of club meetings. What good can an impressive, conducive and easily accessible venue benefit a club should the attendance during meeting doesn't even exceed 10 and the proceedings look like any scene from a boring movie.

I must admit that amongst the most enjoyable meetings I have ever attended or chaired are concluded in a home environment. It was in ordinary Malaysian homes that I experienced Rotaract in its true colours and spirit. I have always liked the idea of having club meetings at home, and the opportunity to be acquainted with family members of the host. It always brings about a sense of family bonding within the club in a relaxed yet semi-formal ambience. Rotaract is still very much a personal touch organization. That is the beauty and uniqueness. Rotaract is not ready for mass consumption or membership. Perhaps it is best we keep it this way.

Try sharing the honour of hosting your club meetings at your home; and don't whine too much on finding the perfect place. It is what we believe in and do that makes the club, not where we meet. If you are concern about walk-in guests having difficulty locating the club should we don't have a permanent meeting venue, let me ask, how many guests (or visiting Rotaractors) do really walk into our club meetings without calling us prior?

What goes on when we meet?

A concrete and proper meeting agenda is the first step to successful meeting. We take for granted the importance of an agenda, and the preparation needs prior a meeting. What happens during the meeting makes the storyline of your club meetings. If we have guests, they are our audience. They expect a good show, not a rehearsal. They have the need to be entertained and convinced.

I always suggest clubs should separate business from pleasure, and the former should come before the latter. Remember, a guest has no role in club businesses. He or she need not have to listen to debates, discussion of proposals and non-confirmed projects, financial info, and members' responsibilities in project organization. Guests prefer to know what and how does one participate in activities, and the individuals whom they would like to be acquainted.

With proper time management, task coordination, creativity and leadership, I am confident meetings can be better. Both members and guest deserves an enjoyable and beneficial meeting.

Whose responsibility is it anyway?

Everyone should know and carry out their respective roles, and with each role comes specific responsibilities. Many a times, I see club meeting are conducted (not organized) where either no one is responsible for a certain required task, or everyone is. Is this a joke? There are times I do wonder, "How many Rotaractors does it take to change a light bulb?"

There were also instances I hear of boring and unproductive club meetings are the result of poor planning and lack of interesting activities whose responsibility lies on the Board of Directors. There were also times I was informed that the poor attendance, support and punctuality of the general membership were the main causes of mundane and uncertainty in club meetings. This "Chicken and Egg" scenerio, coupled with the lack of invited guests attending meetings has resulted in some clubs operating in a secret society model.

Everyone must have a responsibility in club meetings, no matter how small the task may seem, and I sincerely believe it is every member's wish to attend club meetings that are enjoyable and beneficial.

Then what are we lacking in? I honestly believe, Rotaractors lack passion in Rotaract. Passion to attend club meetings, passion to arrive early or at least punctual, passion to ensure everyone (both members and guests) enjoyed and benefited from club meetings, and passion to take ownership of the club by accepting required responsibilities and tasks.

Do you have the passion? How can we ignite such passion? These are the real questions we should be asking ourselves, and not how can we find the most suitable meeting venue or funding for such a place to meet.

Terence Speaks on Rotary

Q1: Rotaract clubs are sponsored by their respective Rotary clubs, similar to Interact clubs in schools. Rotary clubs are sponsoring more than one Interact club in most instances, but not Rotaract club. What are your views on this?

Sincerely speaking, I’ve never asked or dwelled into this questions before. As far as I know, Rotary clubs are allowed by Rotary International to solely or jointly sponsor more than one Rotaract club. Why are Rotary clubs not sponsoring more than one club? This is the most interesting question I’ve had so far. I’m neither a Rotarian nor having the privilege to brainstorm this at the Rotary arena, thus, my following views are based solely on personal knowledge, judgment, observations, and conclusions.

Firstly, I guess the need is not present. More than half of the total Rotary clubs here do not sponsor a Rotaract club, this I’m aware. There are more than adequate Rotary clubs to sponsor additional Rotaract clubs if the need arise. Then, we may have a situation where there are not enough interested young adults to form a Rotaract club in accordance to the requirements of the respective Rotary clubs.

Secondly, it must be the hardship that is making Rotary clubs having to think twice if not threefold in sponsoring more than one Rotaract club. In Rotary, it is equivalent to giving birth to a child. Care, attention, commitment, time and monies are required. Rotary clubs may not have such resources available, especially human resources (Rotarians).

Thirdly, it is perceived to be more difficult to sponsor (or take care, in laymen terms) a Rotaract club than Interact club. This is debatable though. Rotaract clubs seem to face more difficulties or having more challenges. Rotaractors seem to be a very challenging group of young adults to control or manage. These are the perceptions I guess Rotary clubs (or certain Rotarians) are having, and it is not something they would like to add upon their otherwise fully committed Rotary programs and projects.

Personally, I’m interested to know why certain Rotary clubs do not wish to sponsor a Rotaract club?

Q2: We do hear or know of certain Rotaract clubs lamenting about the inadequate support from their Rotary club. Is it true? How do you respond to such expressions, and what are some of the actions you believe can help to eliminate such occurrences?

I always trust the complaints by Rotaract clubs (or Rotaractors) are true. Nevertheless, to what extend ‘support’ mean to Rotaractors and Rotarians is a questionable or unconfirmed definition. Such complaint is even more apparent when Rotary chooses to use the word ‘sponsor’ in defining their status and relationship with Rotaract. In Rotaract marketing and PR literatures, a Rotaract club is required to state the name of its sponsoring Rotary Club(s). Rotarians (and Rotary clubs) have been debating their roles, responsibilities and commitments towards Rotaract for as long as I can remember. I believe Rotaractors are doing the same.

Let’s use the analogy of a parent and child relationship here. If one’s friend has parents to bring the whole family to Pulau Tioman during the holidays, do we expect the same from our parents? This is where the catch is, when it comes to Rotary-Rotaract relationships (or sponsorships). Some of us may indeed look forward to such proposition, while others prefers to be left alone as we wish to spend time on other activities or with other company. I guess a general agreement to be applied generally, may not be applicable and feasible. Every family has its uniqueness, culture, limitations and commitments. I always say, in Rotaract, we can choose our family. If we don’t like the current family we’re in and we’ve tried our best to adapt and improve, then perhaps it’s time we look at other families we believe will give us the happiness we seek for, or most concurrent with our views and perspective of service. I'm always disappointed when I hear of Rotaractors chosing to resign due to personal differences and incompatibility.

We need to understand family members in Rotaract and Rotary changes every year (or term) - whether the Board of Directors or general membership. Different individuals (leaders) or groups (committee) may have different definition, aspiration, request and ability. My suggestion has always been to encourage Rotarians and Rotaractors (not limited to Board of Directors only) to spend or invest some time and effort in getting to know and understand each other, and how we wish to play our roles and fulfil our commitments in this relationship or sponsorship. Talk, discuss, explain, ask and share in a give-and-take atmosphere.

All in all, I believe commitment and honesty is paramount to a successful Rotary-Rotaract relationship.

Q3: Do you feel that Rotary clubs seem to be happier or more satisfied with their investment in Interact compared to Rotaract?

Based upon my acquaintance with Rotarians from clubs sponsoring Rotaract clubs, and who are actively involved with Rotaract, I don’t sense Rotary clubs are happier with Interactors compared to Rotaractors. Perhaps there are certain quarters that careless, felt exhausted trying, misunderstood or misinformed as results were below their expectations. These can indirectly be translated to unhappiness and dissatisfied feelings. Every parent wants their children to do them proud. Some children are just not showing results a parent wishes.

Q4: There aren’t many past Rotaractors who took the initiative or natural progression to become Rotarians. In your opinion, what are the factors influencing this eligible group not to join Rotary, or why this is happening?

I guess I shall response based upon the spoken and unspoken factors here, and very honestly. We shall also define past Rotaractors (in this context) as those who have retired from Rotaract not more than 5 years, or aged between 30 and 35.

Fellowship forms one of the pillars of strength in Rotaract, and I’m sure in Rotary as well. Most Rotaractors are Rotaractors due the fact that they found a group of young adults they can click with (pun intended). There are past Rotaractors who couldn’t find such similar fellowship ambience in their Rotary clubs, thus not attracted or interested to make the first step into Rotary. Why? Some past Rotaractors hardly know Rotary or their Rotary club; while others know too much about their Rotary clubs. There are those past Rotaractors who admited not seeing Rotary’s objectives in the same perspective as their Rotarians, do not feel their Rotary club culture suits them, or the benefits of being a Rotarian beset by overwhelming disadvantages.

Then, we have the age gap or shall I put it as generation gap factor. Rotaract can only consist of young men and women between the ages of 18 and 30; Rotary is a different playing field all together. This factor is affecting Rotary club whereby the majority membership consists of semi-retired or retired grandfathers and grandmothers. Both generations are just not having the same wave-length, communication styles and preferences, and outlook of life in general.

Next, we have the financial factor. Rotaractors are used to invest their personal fortune in amounts not exceeding 3-digits before the decimal point throughout a term; and most probably may not have other personal investments and savings that allow them to perform service (and charity) the Rotary way. Most Rotarians’ monthly investment (expenditure) in Rotary are already in the 3-digits category. Many past Rotaractors or even non-Rotaractors (within 30-35 years) are just not ready and able to add such financial commitments in their monthly budget.

On a consolation note, there are past Rotaractors who are currently Rotarians. I guess such circumstance also applies to Rotaract - as there isn't many past Interactors joining Rotaract.

Q5: Will you join Rotary?

Yes, I will. When? It will be a decision for me to make during a time when I’m able to make.